It’s Your Citizenship, Turn It Into Cash Now.

Citizenship Exchange PoliticuleIts’ your citizenship, turn it to cash now!

It’s so good to hear that the pressing issue of Immigration Reform was solved by private sector small business entrepreneurs. The solution developed by the owner of a small chain of check cashing stores and a border town immigration attorney seems to be the solution to the multitude of immigration issues that we face today. Their solution has caught on like wildfire. As an added benefit, it has created a billion dollar cottage industry. For years people wishing for citizenship faced an antiquated American immigration system. People that entered the United States illegally to find work and a better life also faced a system of bureaucratically institutionalized obstacles that could keep them waiting for years to complete the citizenship process.

This is really not only a success story for immigrants, but for many Americans as well. There is a growing segment of American society that is disenchanted with the social injustices that America has come to stand for. The members of this movement see America’s obscene wealth, capitalistic economy, widely available modern conveniences, access to healthcare, access to education, freedom of speech, relative security compared to the rest of the world, civilized justice system, as stiflingly oppressive. They can now occupy a more socially just society like Venezuela or Cuba. They can occupy a country with a purer natural experience like Myanmar or Indonesia. They can occupy open minded countries like Saudi Arabia or Russia. All the while members of those countries can come to the U.S. to seek a different kind of occupation, the kind that pays a salary.

The program itself is rather simple and the advertisements have become pervasive. You’ve probably seen the commercials many times yourself with the catch phrase “It’s your citizenship, turn it into cash now!” All that a US citizen need do is walk into a Citizenship Exchange Store and fill out the paperwork with the country of intended exchange. That US citizen is than matched up with a citizen from the country of intended exchange that wishes for a US citizenship. Depending on which citizenship is listed as being of higher monetary value on the world market, the owner of the citizenship of lesser value is required to pay the difference. Of course a loan is available from the Citizenship Exchange with a reasonable 38.9% APR. Pending criminal background checks, the Citizenship Exchange attorney’s file paperwork that is signed off by judges from the respective countries and that’s all there is to it. The citizen with the positive balance picks up their funds, turns in their old passport for their new exchange country passport and is off to their new preferred country of citizenship. This system is working as an incredible advantage for all involved. Unhappy US citizens are able to escape the oppressiveness of American capitalism, while at the same time gettin paid. Peoples from around the world are able to realize their lifelong dreams of freedom. The US itself is able ride itself of lazy, ungrateful, spoiled, childish, freeloaders, and replace them with the most resourceful, hardworking people in the world.

The fine print: Citizenship Exchanges are not exactly legally recognized in many if not most countries and can result in lengthy jail sentences and demands for ransom or fees for your release. Citizenship Exchanges are irreversible and non-refundable on the grounds that your parents freaked out and told you to come home, because you blew all your money or were robbed by nationals and are now broke, you came to your senses and realized why US citizenships are always the most valuable on the world market, that your naïve and ignorant beliefs about the US were blown up by the reality of the way people live when nobody caters to them their whole lives. Or maybe this is all Political Ridicule?

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